After my “mother as my wingman” experience went horribly awry I realized I needed to expand my circle. I needed a wingman that knew how to get this job done. A wingman that didn’t need me to outline the full job description and set up a PowerPoint presentation to know what’s expected.
As fate would have it, my next door neighbor is a 32 year old single woman. I met her the weekend I moved in. She thought I was a teenager and I kindly mentioned I’m older than she is. After we got to know each other, we made the “we should hang out” plans and after several false starts, actually got together. It’s cool because we’re both tomboys, so I feel at home.
Few weeks ago, we went to the movies and walked the mall afterwards. Being the observant one, I spotted a cutie in the Sony store. She walked in and after my attempts to ask her to “please be coy” we walked up to him. She started, “we were wondering how old you were.”
>_- followed by a ^_- (yes, I can really make that face.)
I look at her, “Damn, you WERE right!” and we turn around and walk away.
That was the practice.
Last weekend, when we were trying to wait for the HORRAH that is Memorial Day weekend to pass, we went to this reggae spot on the bay. Ever the observant one, I spotted him first.
Tall-ish, casually dressed, nice sneakers, and glasses! I LOVE a man in glasses!! It does something to me. (But I digress)
He was talking to his friend holding a Heineken bottle.
sidenote: the pic above can also be used here to describe my face when I saw this guy.
We stroll to the other end of the patio and have a seat at a table. Waiting for the good reggae set to come on I look at homie and repeatedly say “I like his vibe.”
“I’m going to the bar, you want something?”
She walks away and I fidget with my phone. They walk away.
I send out a text. “They’re coming your way.”
The response: ”come over to the bar with them.”
Oh yeah. I keep distance and walk over to the bar. They’re watching the game. Well, I won’t interrupt that. My neighbor has asked REPEATEDLY if I wanted her to say something to them. My response has REPEATEDLY been a variation of “not yet,” and/or “we have time.”
We’re standing by the bar. I SWEAR we looked at the dance floor for a millisecond.
I hear “they’re leaving” somewhere far off in the distance.
I snap my head around, “what?”
“They. Are. Leaving!”
She points to the door and I see the back of his head go into the darkness.
We walk back to where we were sitting. My vibe is SHOT! She reminds me I have no one to blame but myself. And she’s right.
I’m scanning the crowd, next thing you know, there’s a deep inhale and I grasp her arm.
I point them out and before I can stop her she’s shrugged me off and walks over. I take out my phone and fake text someone.
I’m lying, I actually slumped into the chair praying God would make me a bird, “so I can fly far far away.” It’s possible I put my hand in front of my face a little bit.
She walked back with “Mr. Glasses” in tow. Introductions go around and he sits down. My neighbor walks over to his friend and keeps him company. We talk.
We’re both from Jamaica, same parish. He’s 32! Everything is flowing properly. We’re talking about football, music, we EVEN like the same Parisian DJ. Considering he’s never met another black person that even knew who he was, he keeps marvelling at how much we have in common. At one point, he thinks I’m a “Ms. Me Too.”
We swap numbers and close the party down. My neighbor is talking with his friend and having a great time. We leave the party.
We decide to meet up at Friday’s and part ways. I’m excited because this guy is handsome, mellow AND smart.
We get to Friday’s and he texts me to say they’re a little buzzed and are going home. We’ll catch up later. It was lovely meeting me, etc. etc.
“We WILL do this again!” he texts.
“Alright, cool. Be safe”
And that was the last I heard of him.
We WON’T discuss that my neighbor went on a date with his best friend yesterday. She’s telling me all the ways I should reach out and “maybe you intimidated him.” To which I casually say, “if I intimidated him, then I wouldn’t want him anyway.”
See, the problem with the approach is that I can’t tell if dude really liked me or not. Since I approached him, I am swimming in the lake of uncertain, not knowing if he was feeling me enough to make the follow up phone call. My neighbor thinks a man won’t talk to you unless he’s interested. “Why would he sit and talk to you for hours if he wasn’t interested?” I think that’s woman logic. I’ve heard time and time again that a man will entertain a conversation and be gone into the night. It reminds me of the “Friends” episode where Chandler would just randomly say “Ok, I’ll call ya,” even when he didn’t mean it. It’s just something you say.
I also have a theory that many men are cowards so he might have had an issue saying “nah, it’s okay. You’re not my type.”
So, while I’m not exactly “off” the approaching men” idea (especially if my neighbor will do all the work for me). There HAS to be an easier way to tell if dude liked me. My neighbor said he was practice and I can get with that. The great thing is no emotions are involved so I don’t feel any kind of way about him not calling, but my neighbor is hopeful as all hell. She’s convinced if I put “feelers” out, he’ll respond.
I’m gonna go with………… “no.”
I’m gonna listen to this band he told me about. Maybe I’ll give him my opinion and that’s it. But if my neighbor starts dating his friend, this is gonna be verry interesting.
I despise these daft dudes down in Miami, then again, daft dudes are everywhere.
Peace and Love, Nick