(If you are a fan of “Awkward Black Girl,” Season 2 premieres TODAY [June 14]!! Go get some!!)
I love learning. I don’t mind learning things from people. I miss college most of the time and find you learn a lot simply by engaging people in conversation. I have no problem with that.
It seems like you’ll always find someone willing to teach you the way to fix whatever problem ails you. There’s always someone to tell us what we should and shouldn’t do in order to be successful, happy, in love, find love, get over love. How to succeed in business without really trying. How to find love, where to find love, how to keep the fire burning etc. It seems like a lot of people have things to say about a lot of subjects. That’s fine. I also know that the way sex sells when it comes to tv shows, is the same way a relationship blog will always get more hits. I don’t have any stats to substantiate that sentence, but I’m pretty sure I don’t need one.
Here’s the thing tho, what are the credentials?
- If she was patting her weave, this pic would be perfect..
I know you would want the person writing the “how to be an author” book to actually have something published! That’s not too much to ask. And the thing is, if you were searching for help on a specific topic, you would want the person giving such advice to follow their own. Oprah can’t tell me how to skateboard, but she can tell me how to build a brand. You wouldn’t take financial advice from a homeless person, would you? I didn’t think so.
Then WHY are people not asking for some form of credibility when it comes to giving out relationship advice? I’m not mad that people gave Steve Harvey the side eye when he came out with a book telling women how to behave. The thing is, not enough people questioned his credibility to keep them from adopting “thinking like a man” tendencies.
Not saying that a person has to give all their personal business to their audience, but if you’re telling me (or hoping to) how to be successful in love, then BEST BELIEVE I need to see the receipts. It’s that simple. I suppose I wouldn’t be so “face screwed” if the advice/lists/preaching didn’t sound so definitive.
“Here’s EVERYTHING you’re doing wrong and it’s the truth cuz I said so”
Could it be, that everyone is SOO pressed to learn about men/women that we don’t care where the advice is coming from? We’ve already established that there are no set rules. There is NO set list that will apply to everyone except “boys have a penis, girls have a vagina” and even THAT is suspect. The fact that you’re male doesn’t automatically give you an “in” with me. Then again, that could just be because I like to question “why?” followed closely by a “who is you?”
I just don’t get the logic. But momma always said not everyone would understand me.
Is it just me? Do you look for credibility when figuring if someone is authorized to speak on a subject? And if people ask for some “certification” in every other aspect, why do you think relationships are the one subject people will accept blindly? Desperation? Loss of hope? Clutching at straws?
still asking everyone “who is you!?”
Peace and Love, Nick
p.s. Have a great weekend.. OH! And I added one more measure to the comments in order to decrease my spam. Sorry for the math, but really, it’s simple math! Love you..
No it’s not just you. You know how I feel about relationship blogs and advice. I’m going to do whay Immma do to make mine work (walk the line if you will), trust in God, and think my steps through. It makes me sad because people don’t ask for a relationship c.v. of sorts when reading.
It’s big business though. There is a lot riding on book sales and clicks (mostly notariety and cash). The Internet side of things is murky because I think folks think the Ner has made loving easier. Nah, b. It’s only muddled it up more.
As a dude I’m bothered by the number of single f***ers (Dudes mostly) telling folks what to do with their lives. I don’t mind those who only offer their reasonable thoughts but there are many in their number who speak in absolutes. Too many twitter and blog gurus out there will no real answers. Again, show me a list of your well-run relationships and I may give a damn. (No I won’t).
Am I an a$$ or a misanthrope for not caring about the love problems of others? I deal with depression via compartmentalizing so I wonder.
I would say that doesn’t make you an a**hole at all.. but then again, I have a tendency not to care until something affects me so, what do I know? it’s like the detached leading the detached..
I get you. Very detached. I was actually told to be that way by my best friend when his marruage went south. My other married friends have said the same thing too.
I agree with you…I think people take advice from blogs because at times it has to be better than the advice that they are getting from friends, family, co-workers and random people at bars!!!
I don’t think that it is always good advice, and if you’re anything like me, I’m going to do what I want to do anyway!!
However, when a person has reached the end of their “advice ropes”, they seek it anywhere!! This is my opinion on why relationship blogs are popular, or it might just be why they are somewhat interesting to me.
I will say it is good for a laugh.. I won’t lie, somewhere in me I want something more substantial to prevail. The ones speaking the nonsense get the book deal.. It’s like there’s a bunch of Picassos out there and the Kindergarten portraits for parent night are the ones getting all the press….
you know what i mean?
I completely agree…and for entertainment it is great!! Sometimes while reading for entertainment you get a nugget of good information
I definitely look for credibility. Alot of times, especially with some of these bloggers, I just want to go through commenting “I don’t believe you, you need more people!” (but that would make me a troll…I am not a troll)
We have folks putting on in these internet streets; facades painted on so life like you can’t really see that its not real. So I question everything because just because you said it doesn’t make it fact nor truth.
I think its only the thinkers, maybe the overthinkers and definitely folks that are aware of themselves, that even consider these things though. We are not sheep led blindly down a path by the pied piper or self-proclaimed relationship gurus. I can’t imagine taking advice at face value from someone who doesn’t know me personally. That ish just does not compute.
GIRL!! That wouldn’t make you a troll!! I think everybody realizes a troll when they see one..
Not only do they not know you personally, but they issue blanket statements without hearing/knowing all the facts.. knowing that one tiny variable can change everything.. but that’s what psychiatrists are for..
A lot of the beef my mother has with me is that I’m always asking “why?” She doesn’t like it.. THen again, I told her she would’ve drunk the kool-aid JUST because the guy giving it to her said he loved Jesus…
She shoulda never let me get knowledge…
I’m saying, it is NOT YOU! I get so over folks trying to give advice on something they have no clue on. I’m saying, I can give you my opinion, but I’m no expert!
I think this is also a big problem with many of our people; we don’t ask why! We are so emotional and if it sounds good and makes us feel good, we run with it. Not only do we run with it, we try to pass it off to other folks as fact. That’s a huge problem. Asking questions isn’t necessary being cynical, it’s communicating that you want to learn and you don’t want to have the BGs because you swallowed kool-aid sweetened with saline instead of sugar!
Did you REALLY reference bubble guts?? REALLY!?!?!
and 2. you been looking at the tagline of my blog?? I actually had a bag made with that tagline.. my mom was like, “what does THAT mean?” *sigh*… lady, you got more problems than I thought..
anyway.. I have never accepted anything blindly.. the same way I don’t randomly hand out respect to older people (not even lying).. it has to be earned.. my believing what you have to say MUST come with a logical argument.. a single person telling me how to get men does NOT hold water.. A happily unmarried person telling me how to keep my marriage alive will NEVER be the move.. that’s just the way it is, some things will never change..
yes, I just quoted Bruce Hornsby…
Great post Nick! You have a great point! XO!