Beautiful people, I’m getting sick. I wanted to write something but couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to take today off so I’m giving you guys a throwback post from 2 years ago.. Besides, I hardly knew most of you then so enjoy what you missed..
Love you all (but not like “that”)
So I’ve made it no secret that I’ve seen “Inception.” (a.k.a. “The Best Movie of 2010 thus far”) It’s the type of movie that you want to talk with friends about and the type of movie that makes you think.
This post is NOT about the movie.
I’m not giving anything away, but there’s a concept in the movie called “the kick.” It’s that event or occurrence that snaps the dreamer back to reality. It’s what wakes us up. A kick might be that part of our dream where we already pretend we’ve made it to the bathroom. (Don’t fake like ya’ll don’t dream that too.) You jolt and realize that you have to make that bathroom trip really happen. I started thinking about my “kick.” In this instance though, I’m not talking about dreams, I’m talking about relationships. Usually new relationships in that “Stage.” What’s the event that slaps you awake? What is the thing that shocks you out of your dream state and tells you know that you are NOT prancing through a field of daisies? I have a few, gleaned from years of experience.
1. The way you handle an unforeseen occurrence.
I’m not talking about something worthy of getting upset, that’s a different story. And even then, getting truly upset (being that it’s an emotion) is a choice. I mean something that was REALLY out of your control. I mean the flat tire, or the bus breaking down when you’re already late for work. I look at you with a new set of glasses if you got upset in a way that is totally unneccessary. Oh, you need examples? Alright then. Punching walls, or throwing things. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve broken a mirror or two, but it was MY mirror, and there wasn’t anyone around to see me do it. If something out of your control happens and you start throwing tantrums, (in my presence) then I’m giving you a side-eye. In the words of Gangstalicious “let’s be solution oriented.”
2. The first fight.
Please believe that NO MATTER how rosy things are, there will come a moment where the two of you will not agree. Nothing can change a feeling of “you give me butterflies” to “you gave me worms” faster than the negative reaction to your first fight. I’ve witnessed it firsthand. You can REALLY see someone’s character when a fight pops up and they’re reacting to it. Do they fight fair? Do they throw tantrums? (Of course not, because we aren’t 5 yrs old) Do they start calling names!? (Oh No HE DI’NT!”) I cannot begin to tell you the many ways that I will be searching for the door (window, fire exit, rope ladder) than a bad reaction to a fight.
3. First time an ex is mentioned.
Now, here’s the thing. You KNOW that there was someone that came before you (literally and figuratively. or “lit and fig” as I like to say) so I always MARVEL at the guy that wants to ack a fool (up in here, up in here) because I mentioned Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, or Mike’s name. It could be something casual like, “Oh, my friend is thinking of inviting Mike to her BBQ next saturday.” Or it could be the answer to a question like, “Mike is the name of the last guy I dated.” I’ve had men “shut down” because I mentioned a name that sounded like an ex’s name. “Ron” sounded like “John.” Thus the body language shifts and gets all testy. I want to say that this is the ULTIMATE in the “snap out of it” moments, but I’d be lying. Trust me though, it comes pretty dang close.
What say you? Is there anything I missed? I’m SURE there is. What’s your kick? The sucker punch that let’s you know, “something might be amiss with this person.” You can speak your piece down below.. (in the love below..)
I’m sorry, I had to say that…
Peace and Love, Nick